Hope
by Midnight's Shining Star
Summary: She was supposed to be strong. But how could the whole world be fine while she was spinning in circles? Oneshot. Drabble. 1000 words. Set sometime shortly after the Ishvalan war. T for (very) light swearing and dark-ish themes.


**A/N: This is my first time writing for a fandom other than Naruto so bear with me here. I wrote this piece particularly for an English assignment last semester and at the time it wasn't meant for a fanfiction at all, much less one about Riza Hawkeye. But, re-reading it, I feel like it might be able to fit, in a way. **

**Well, I like the piece alone and I wanted to share it but since this is a fanfiction site it had to be about someone so there you go. This is a oneshot, and a drabble. (For the English assignment it was supposed to be not much longer than 3 pages in Microsoft Word) I had planned to originally add a bit more action but because of the space limit, I was forced to cut it all out. I think its fine the way it is though :)**

**Let me know what you think, mkay?**

**If I owned FMA I would cry for happiness ;w;**

**Characters: Riza H., Black Hayate  
Genre: Hurt/Comfort  
Rating: T for use of a swear word and dark-ish themes  
Word Count: 965  
Time: Not particularly sure but for canon I would place it sometime during the Ishvalan war/shortly after or for an AU world; perhaps Mustang dies or something. IDK  
Prompt(s): End of life and hope  
Summary: She was supposed to be strong. But how could the whole world be fine while she was spinning in circles?**

**Enjoy!**

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_**Hope**_

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It was like a thousand and one drums beating in her chest.

_Deep breath in, and out, in and out…_

Her back leaned up against the cold stone wall as the fine rain misted down. It was quiet. So very quiet. She counted. Counted anything to try and keep calm – her breaths, the number of times her heart beat in the span of a minute, the number of steps she had taken since she left, the drops of rain falling from the sky - anything.

_In and out, in and out…_

She needed calm. She needed to _just stop thinking_. But she felt her breath catch in her throat as even the slightest noise put her on edge. It was so quiet. Save for the pattering of the soft rain and her uneven breathing, it was quiet. Every now and then the sound of an animal scampering about or something falling from a tree or even her own movement caused her to jump slightly.

_In and out…in and out…_

It was illogical, she knew. Highly illogical. There was no one here. She was very much alone, here at the borders of this forest. Yet, her brain seemed to ignore all semblance of logic as she clutched the pistol to her chest and tried to overlook the fact that she was on the verge of tears. It was just the rain anyways.

Yet, the more she sat alone with the relative quietude of the atmosphere, the more she thought. And the more she tried the more she couldn't help it. It was like watching a house go up in unquenchable flames. Knowing the inevitable and knowing there was nothing to be done about it, but denying it anyways. Even after the fact. Denial. Refusal. The, "how could this have happened? It didn't, did it?" type of feeling. And the whole while watching it burn to the ground in front of you. Nothing to be done.

She placed her head on her knees. Running away wasn't helping anything. It was childish at best, treacherous at worst. She fingered the gun. Why did life have to be so inexplicably complicated? Her fingertips traced the barrel and for a quick moment she wondered what it would feel like to place the cold metal to her head and pull. It couldn't be that awful, could it? But then, that was just as childish, or treacherous as running away. It wasn't solving anything.

"Damn it. Damn it all to hell and back" she whispered into the darkness.

She let her mind wander. She wondered if anyone would even come, why she had ever run in the first place, and just _what _she had been running from, exactly.

Of course no one would come. That was silly since nobody had even known she left. At least, they might be figuring it out by now, but no, she wasn't supposed to be anywhere so how would anyone know? So it was quite illogical that she kept thinking someone might show up. Yet she still thought it all the same.

_In and out, in and out…_

Why had she run? What was there to run from except her own thoughts which would follow her wherever she went? She closed her eyes. The truth was, she just didn't want to be around others. She didn't want to see their happy faces, like everything was just peachy. Because it wasn't and she just couldn't fathom how the whole world seemed to be fine while she was the only one spinning in circles.

She fingered the gun again, clicking it open and shut rhythmically. The inner struggle was deep and difficult, and though she knew it was highly illogical and stupid and childish, and whole slew of other adjectives, she didn't care. The only thing keeping her from pulling the trigger was the simple fact that, _she didn't want to die_. Not particularly anyways. In fact, she hadn't quite come out here with that particular idea in mind. She simply took it for protection. Because who knew what roamed the woods at night. But, alone now with too much time to think, too much quiet to contemplate, and too much rain to hide, she wondered.

There was nobody left anyways. Nobody in particular. They were all dead, or as good as dead to her. After all, if she couldn't trust someone what good were they? She couldn't trust anyone in general – that was always a rule. And now, here she was, alone, with a gun, at night.

The sound of something running towards her was enough to snap her out of contemplation and jump up in surprise and slight fear as to what might come out of the night. Trembling hands held the gun, safety off, poised to shoot.

"Wh-who's there?" she questioned, timidly if anything.

Her eyes darted around, trying to find where the being was coming from. A sound of something running towards her and all at once, she was on the ground again, something wet and familiar licking her face. She lay there, shocked for a moment, the gun now forgotten on the ground and out of reach. A slow smile etched its way into her features as she almost cautiously reached up and the dog's head. She must have left the door ajar when she ran out in a hurry and the dog, knowing only loyalty, had followed its master all the way to this desolate place.

"There now, how could I be so selfish?" she murmured, "After all, what would _you_ do if I were gone?"

Though it was dark she could see the dog lifting its furry face, eyes staring right into her own.

"That's right. There's still something left to live for. Come on boy, let's go home."

_~Fin_

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**Like? Love? Hate? Please leave me a review with your thoughts! (And let me know if you think I should do more FMA...I'm trying to broaden my horizons here u_u)**

**Ja ne~**


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